The Battle is hard!

This beautiful handsome young man is my 15 year old son who has Autism and ADHD. Everyday is a struggle to make the right choices and do the right things. He tries so hard!   Yesterday he was a warrior! He fought a hard battle and he won! He beat temptation! He persevered!

See we homeschool him and this is the right choice for us. He learns best at his speed, and not at the speed of others.  But his everyday battle is with his obsession with electronic entertainment devices. And everyday, we do what is best and lock them in our bedroom while we are at work.  We do that so that he can focus on his schoolwork and not be distracted.  But yesterday...I forgot to lock the door!

The battle was a long hard fought 4 hours! He was so focused on making and doing the right thing that he was frozen and that is all he could do.   But he won!!!   He was finally able to start his schoolwork and overcome the temptation!!

I am so proud of him! So proud of the man he is becoming! So proud of the mature he is starting to show!

It’s hard! This life of Autism and ADHD! But we keep going!

Go buddy boy!!! Momma has your back!  I’m so proud of you!!  I’m your biggest cheerleader and your biggest fan!!  You got this!!


Can you hear what I hear?  Can you hear God saying this to you? Can you see God writing this kind of stuff about you? He does!! He is your biggest cheerleader! He is your biggest fan! He is proud of you even in the midst of the hardest battle that you will ever face! He loves you!
And sometimes, he has to lock up those things that will distract you from him and his purpose until it’s time for you to have them. And when the battle is fought and is won, you get the spoils!

Today, take time to run to God and sit at His feet. Take in all that He wants to tell you. Take in the love and encouragement and forgiveness for when you lost. He still loves you! He will always be  and is still there for you!!

Trusting my Daddy

When I was growing up, as a very little girl, I trusted my daddy. I trusted that he loved me, and that he would always protect me no matter what. I knew that was where safety was, and that I could run and fall into his arms and everything would be ok. I could fall asleep in his arms and rest.

Unfortunately, that ended when I became a teenager. The trust was broken, and turned to fear. He was no longer a place of safety. I became jaded. And therefore, my view of God was changed. As I grew into an adult, I didn’t know to truly trust that God loved me. I had been taught that if you don’t do exactly what he tells you to do, you are not loved, you are not wanted. I had to go through some cery very hard life experiences to learn , to really really know that God Loves Me!! He will move heaven and earth to get to me to rescue me! Psalms 18:3 - 17 is such a descriptive passage that shows his love for me and you.

In Matthew 18:12-14 is the parable of the lost sheep.  I cry every time I think of that story.  When Ian was little, he had this book that I wish I still had. It was called “The Lost and Found Lamb” by Tracy Harrgot. It was a flap book that you could flip up the rock or open the chicken coop and there was a dog with the shepherd who was helping to look for the lost sheep. It was so cute to watch Ian as I made voices for the dog and other animals while he was looking for Woolly the sheep. And at the end all of the animals threw a party for the sheep to welcome him home. I used to make all the noises of a party to entertain him. He thought it was great!  When the last page and the last flap was lifted, it showed Jesus as the shepherd and wooly as a child whom Jesus was holding and loving. It showed what the story was really about! To think that I, a bad rebellious sheep, who gets caught up in wanting what I want when I want it, and I wander off trying to find my own way, is so valuable to God. The Good Shepherd that he leaves the rest of the flock and searches in rocks and crannies and crags just to rescue me who has realized that I am lost and all alone and has been sitting and crying, bleating, for help.  He picks me up and puts me over his shoulders and carries me back to safety and nourishes my soul and cleans me up, and dresses my wounds and talks to me lovingly.

See didn’t just saw, oh well, I lost another one!  No! That is not how MY DADDY WORKS!  My Daddy loves me know matter what! He will protect me from the wolves. He will come when I cry out! He is the one I can run to for safety and fall into his arms and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is working everything out for my good!  I can trust he will untangle my messed up life and restore what I was supposed to have!

Today, I pray that as you and I struggle with life as it is now, that we realize and know that we always have a place of safety to run to. That you can rest in whatever chaos surrounds you knowing that the God of heaven and earth has it all under control and he is working on whatever it is that you have asked for in prayer! It due time, His time, things will come to pass and all will be revealed.

May God richly bless you today!

Peace in the storm

So today the little 6 yr old “Queen” who has been sleeping in a king size bed, was demoted to the little princess that she is supposed to be. She did get a lot of toys for Christmas that she needed more room to play with. We gave her a double bed and made the teenage boy a prince that now sleeps in a king size bed.  As it really should be... since he is almost 6 foot tall.  His room is a nautical overload! Lighted lighthouses, anchors, sailboats, pictures of the water, the ocean...

We used to live at the beach and went on a regular basis. It was a relaxing place to just sit and listen to the waves crash and feel the breeze.  If those memories are what he needs to relax then so be it.  You see this sweet boy of my is Autistic and has anxiety very bad.  Some days it’s not peaceful..it’s a very big storm! And today has been a day!  All I can do is pray that tomorrow is better.  Change is hard even though he seems excited about it. And when little princess gets excited she knows exactly how to wind the prince up and get him going even more.

We as adults are like these two children of mine..we all want to relax and be at peace, but when we have those opportunities, the devil sends something to disturb our peace and get us going! Our storms could be other people, broken computers, etc.., It’s then that we can’t hear the voice of God speak to us . It’s in the quiet, that God speaks. He whispers things he wants us to know.

I’ve had a week off from work and I have had time to relax and listen. I’ve had to learn to tune out the storm and listen!  You see God is working on my behalf for my good, and for His Glory.  He will open doors for me this year and I will step into my calling!
To God be the Glory! MayHis  peace be with you even in the mist of the storm!

No Weapon

Today started out good!  I relaxed on the couch and watched a Hallmark movies and drank some coffee and hung out with my oldest “daughter “.  Then a trip to Walmart and a late afternoon meal, only to arrive home to do a quick custom vinyl order and find that my computer has died!  Ok, I can switch to my iPad, no big deal...a little bit of a learning curve but I got the job done.  Oh wait,  yeah...I need a pin to pair it to the Cricut...but where is my instruction book with the pin??   Oh glory!! All I could say was “No weapon formed against me shall prosper!”  Over and over again until at last I found the book and was able to complete the project.  You see, God gave me a dream... to start my own business this year and make me successful so that I can stay at home and manage my son and his Autism.  He needs to be face to face with me, for me to help him learn the skills he needs to grow.  I have done what has needed to be done for the past few years, but it is time for me to focus on him.  It’s time for me to step into my calling! So Devil..Listen up.. “No Weapon you have that you have formed against me shall prosper! Nothing you do will stop me from answering the call God has on my life!!! I am a Daughter of the Most High King of kings and Lord of lords!! I will prevail!!

I’ve been on a writing slump!  More like a block!  I feel like I have been stifled.  My birthday was on the 11th of January, and it was just another day.  It hurt and was not what I expected.  And then life got busy with back to school and routines, and then another school break, and sickness hit our house. Y’all, I am struggling. But everywhere I look I see little reminders from God that He has me and that He will provide what I need.  And this song by Cody Carnes keeps playing in my head

...”I run to the Father,
I fall into grace,
I done with the hiding,
no reason to wait,
my heart needs a surgeon,
my soul needs a friend,
so I run to the Father again and again and again!

You saw my condition
Right form the start
Your plan for redemption
The price for my heart...

(Now here is the line that gets me every time...)

“I don’t have a context
For that kind of love
I don’t understand
I can’t comprehend
All I know is I need you!!”

God is such an amazing Father!  He is a good good Father!  He heals our wounds, our hearts, our sickness both physically and emotionally.

And how he loves me is so incomprehensible!  Another song by Hillsong “Good Grace” says “ fix your eyes on this one truth God is madly in love with you!”

I would never get through this life without knowing that God loves me! That is what everyone yearns for in their life .. love.. to be shown love, to feel love, to KNOW they are loved!!

So yeah, while I am struggling, I run to my Daddy, I crawl in his big arms of safety, He loves on me like nobody else can or ever will and he heals me and whispers that He has me and He will never leave me or forsake me or forget me! I matter to Him!

I MATTER TO GOD!

And so do you!!  Run to the Father! Fall into His grace!!

A fresh start

So yesterday we “took down Christmas “.   We took down the wreaths, the ornaments, the random decorations, the ribbon, the lights, and finally the tree.  I was ready, ready for the end of the hustle and bustle and busyness to end. I was ready for a fresh start.

But, I wasn’t ready for the feelings to go away. Feelings of happiness and joy and love.  The gift giving of gifts, spending time with family. That is what I wish would linger.

We got the house clean and everything and everybody ready to go back to school today and the house got quiet finally at 9 pm. I sat at my desk and planned out school for the next month and my planner stamped and prayer list filled out for the month and I reflected on the day.

I heard God say that the fresh start is what the tree and the lights are about. That love and happiness can go on..Jesus did the hard stuff on that tree, he died for me so I could have a fresh start, so his light could shine through me and point others to him.

I had just had to deal with my big boy having another Autism meltdown. Things had not gone like he was thinking they would, he was interrupted, he didn’t like how things felt. How do I manage to teach him that you can’t live on your feelings if they feel good or not. That’s what the devil tells you to do. Do it if it feels good!  And so many times I am just as guilty!  I don’t feel like cleaning! I don’t feel like...  and I don’t do it!  But I have to do things differently! I have to start doing them even when  I don’t like how it feels because Jesus died a horribly painful death just for me! He did things that didn’t feel good so I could have a fresh start!

So today, I got up earlier than normal and had a fresh start! I did what didn’t feel good..I got out of bed! I didn’t rush to get ready, there was no yelling hurry up there was no crying there was just patience and calm and hopefully a little bit of Jesus shining.

Fresh start!  Keep going everyday! A little more and more!

Getting organized

Today has been day 2 back to work after my long Christmas vacation.  It’s been a busy 2 days of starting all new folders for the year, getting last years stuff ready to go to the accountant, etc.  I kind of like it.  Organizing and getting things filed and straight is my cup of tea.  My life at home is crazy and I strive every day to keep it organized and straight, but some days I fail.  Some days I say to myself that in a hundred years it won’t matter! What does matter is spending time with your family and your friends. And if I can’t spend time with some of them because they live far away from me I can pray for them.  Today I have a friend who has been in the hospital since before Christmas, and they can’t find out what is causing her to stay sick.  I pray for her and her family and that God show the Doctors what is going on. I also had a friend that passed away on January 1st from cancer. She had 3 little girls who loved their mommy very much and will miss her immensely!  I pray for them and how they wish they could find organization and order in the chaos in their life right now. I pray for their hearts and that God wrap his arms around them and hold them close and comfort them.

In the past 7 years, I have come to learn that God wants me to be his Warrior Princess by praying!  I can war on my knees, sitting in my chair, driving in my car.   I have realized that this “ministry calling” that I have always felt is not in a “job”. It is in praying....praying wherever I am, whatever I am doing.

So, I pray!