Inspired

as I was just checking my email, I ran across a fellow homeschooler from one of my yahoo groups that has an awesome business. She is an artist that teaches others to open up their creativity and do some art journals. I can;t describe the way she put it exactly, but it was inpiring. Her intro was just beautiful. she decribed it as her "dance, her symphony of grace". Check it out for yourself. symphonyofgrace.com

That is what I want to do. Everyday "dance" with God. But I find myself not as a dancer, but a stupid sheep who instead of staying on the mountain top to learn and just BE with God, a whirlwind, a tornado sweeps across and catches me up in its vortex and before I know it I find myself at the bottom of the valley again, where it is dark, cold, and lonely. Slowly ever so slowly, I begin the journey to the top of the mountain again and God in His glorious grace comes running to find me. He left the 99 in order to search for me before night falls, before the wolves come and eat me. We journey along the narrow path with just inches between the wall of the mountain and the edge where I could fall into the gorge below and die, but I am not afraid. He is with me and along the way sometimes carries me over his shoulders because I am not strong enough to walk myself or the way is too narrow for 2. Eventually we reach the top, and the view is breathtaking. I stand in awe at the sights and ask God questions concerning it all, but then I get so off focus that before I know it, the whirlwind comes again. I have found that it takes super concentration, super focus to drown out everything around me, (the view, etc) and just look only at HIM.

Why? Isn't He more beautiful than anything that He has created? Isn't He more amazing than the view? Isn't He the VIEW I should want to study?

My heart has a way to go. It has been wounded and torn by many things and people that having that much devotion to someone is hard. It shouldn't be, and to even write that breaks my own heart. God has done so much for me that I have no reason not to. I am such an unworthy wretch.

Father forgive me, teach me to only study you. Teach me that the view of you is all the view I need.