Monday, June 14, 2010

Broken, Glued, and Made New

Life is full of hurt and pain. It probably would not be this way if Sin hadn't entered into it. But, also had it not, God would not have been able to show us His deep love for us. He uses pain and hurt and times of crisis to show us His power. Take for instance a piece of pottery. it is a vessel that is used to hold life giving water or the tasty sweet pleasuring thirst quincher of wine. The potter took a lump of clay, and at a very comfortable rate of speed (sometimes fast, sometimes slow depending on what he was making), spun the wheel and with his hands molded a usable vessel. Sometimes it is ornate, sometimes it is plain. But whatever it looks like, it is still usable just the same. It takes years to learn how to do this right. That is why I am not a good potter. I don't have the experience to do it, BUT somehow I still try. Do I really try to make pottery you ask? NO, but I try to do this with my own life. I try to mold myself into something usable for God at a high rate of speed. I want to be a vessel that helps give the "life giving water" of God, or one tht pours out an unexpected blessing or "treat". It usually does not turn out that way, nor does my vessel turn out looking like anything good or usable. When I am done, it is a pot that looks whop sided with no handle or spout. If God tried to put water in it, or tasty treats it would probably not even hold any. You see it was not God's rate of speed, nor God's hands that molded the vessel, it was me all on my own. And what did I get? A really big mess. SO you know what has to happen then, God allows pain and hurt and crisis to enter into my "pot" of a life, and it breaks me into a million little pieces. Then God with His caring hands can pick me up, glue me back together, but this time in an arrangement that works much better. In other words He makes me new. He mends my broken pieces and is now able to use me the way He intended in the first place. His glue, is Love. Isn't that the thing that glues most things back together?
I recently read Andy Andrews new book, "The HeartMender". It was a story of pain, hurt, anger, bitterness, and tragedy. Two people from opposite ends of the world were thrown together in a strange series of events. They were both bitter and angry about the deaths of their spouses due to the war. The good news was that God came and mended the broken hearts of those two people and allowed them to move beyond their painful past and onto a bright future filled with love and joy. I needed that reminder that God can do tht for us if we let Him.
God can do that for you too. No matter your pain, He can heal and mend your broken heart. Let Him be your "Heartmender" today.

"...Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand..." Jeremiah 18:1-6

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Continuing My Story

For the last journaling entry in the Bible study I am facilitating at my church called "My Story", it ask us to journal about what we want others to know about Jesus through our lives. Wow, that is a big task! I am afraid that more often than not, I fail to show Jesus in my life at all. I let my emotions and drama of the day and my baggage determine how I act/react to situations around me. I want to be like an elderly lady that I read about on the Proverbs 31 ministries daily encouragement email. This lady was going through a crisis in her life, Her husband was in very critical condition and she still had a glow of joy while she prayed. Another lady was in the waiting room, and had just received bad news about her sister. The elderly lady made eye contact and before the younger lady knew it, the elderly lady was by her side, holding her hand, and praying that if God could only save one that day that it be the younger woman's sister. The older woman's husband was 85 and had lived a full life. She really showed the presence of Jesus in her life that day. How I desire to do that everyday. How is it then that I fail to show Jesus to my own family much less some stranger (Although it is easier to show Him to strangers sometimes). My mind goes to the verse that says " through the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks". That puts a kink in things doesn't it. It tells me that I have not allowed the Holy Spirit to come and fill me so full that it overflows to those around me at all times. My heart is still full of pain and hurt that it overflows out of my mouth. Disappointment and dismay are my constant overflow.....

Oh God, forgive me. Come and fill me so much with you that I am empty of anything else. Place it so heavy on my heart to spend time with you so that this will be the result. Woo me, Oh God! Seek me, search for my heart! Let me be the kind of woman that glows with your spirit! I want to fall in love with you more and more everyday! Let me be so immersed in you that others don't even see me! Let my speech be from the abundance of my heart!! Let that be the Jesus others see and not the one I have been (or rather not been) showing.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Who is God?

Have you really ever ever thought about who God is? If you are like me, you grew up believing in God, and the things you know about Him are the things you learned in Sunday School. But is that all God is? The answer is NO! Start reading the Bible very intentionally looking for the descriptions of God we find that we would not normally think about. Our normal thoughts are of God being Almighty and Holy. And while He most certainly is Almighty and Holy, He is so much more. The other day, I had the radio on while I was cleaning and a lady was telling a story of some troublesome issue in her life, and that she started praying her "ABC list" of God. I stopped and thought "What is that?" Then she explained that she recited an alphabetical list of descriptions of God that gave her the peace she was looking for in this time of need. This list let her know that God was still in control, and I thought "wow- what a great idea" so I started a list of my own.

I came up with the normal like A- amazing, awesome, and then it hit me :Active, because God is always at work in my life.(Rom 8:28)
B- builder, God builds strong families and marriages

You see what I mean, look for the unusual. I got down to F and came up with Funny. God has a sense of humor, after all He did make some funny looking people (some of you can look at the person next to you and see what I mean) and animals. But He is also Freedom, He frees us from worry and care. He is Handy, because He is always near, just call His name and He will be there. Then He just IS! (Exod. 3:14)

The list can go on forever because you can always find something to add to it. You see God is really indescribable. Dr. Shadrach Meshach Lockridge put it best in his "Seven Way King" prayer. Look it up on the internet and you will be amazed.

So, the next time I am uneasy or restless about my very CRAZY life, I am going to learn this list and recite it. I can come up with new descriptions to add to it every time God teaches me a lesson in His character through some trial and it will give me peace and comfort that God IS and everything will be just the way He planned it. (There is another one..P- Planner Jer. 29:11).

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

But God

I was thinking about the word but. Do you know what it means? in Webster's dictionary, there are 14 different usage of the word. I once heard from a pretty smart guy -Dr. Phil McGraw- that the word but erases everything that was said before it. So when you say something like "I love you, BUT, " the person to whom whom you said that to only heard what came after. or you could say something like "I like that sweater on you , BUT,..." meaning you really don't like that sweater! You see what I mean? That word BUT, that one tiny 3 letter word, can change the whole meaning of a sentence.

You know what? I am glad! Why? Because we can use the word BUT when we talk about our lives and what God does. You see I was born to average everyday people who didn't know God or love him or even want to serve him, BUT God showed up anyway, and my parents received Christ as their savior and then answered a call to become ministers of the gospel. I then bacame a preacher's kid. I had a lot of very hard experiences and tough times BUT God used those lessons to teach me things that I needed to learn for the future He had in store for me. I grew up, got married, and went through 10 years of abuse of all kinds, BUT God came and delivered me. He took me and gave me safety, and blessed me with priceless gifts. I remarried, and that marriage was not as tough as the first, just mentally taxing, trying. I failed that test and made some major mistakes and very poor choices, BUT God gave me unmerited grace and forgiveness, and brought me back to where He wanted me. I am still growing and learning, and everyday hope to draw closer to Him. I thank God everyday for the BUTS in life.

Doesn't that change the story? Doesn't it change all of our stories? It should! Next time you are having a conversation, remember the word BUT. Let it transform your life and your conversation.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

busy days

How do we allow our lives to be so crazy? IT seems that the more you want to just slow down and enjoy the time you have with your family, the more stuff fills your plate. I am now about to embark on a facilatating journey to "teach" scrapbooking and walk these women through journaling thier stories. It will be difficult at times but so rewading. I think I may be a crazy person who can't say no to anything, but I have so much I want to do. I know that I absolutly must homeschool Ian that is not an option!! And as a mom I also have to help charity get through school so she can support her and Kam. The rest is the beginning steps of the things I know God has in store for me. I get so excited about those, but I am probably geting ahead of myself in that. God is probably teaching me to enjoy the moments. Time is fleeting. These days only last for so long.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


as I was just checking my email, I ran across a fellow homeschooler from one of my yahoo groups that has an awesome business. She is an artist that teaches others to open up their creativity and do some art journals. I can;t describe the way she put it exactly, but it was inpiring. Her intro was just beautiful. she decribed it as her "dance, her symphony of grace". Check it out for yourself.

That is what I want to do. Everyday "dance" with God. But I find myself not as a dancer, but a stupid sheep who instead of staying on the mountain top to learn and just BE with God, a whirlwind, a tornado sweeps across and catches me up in its vortex and before I know it I find myself at the bottom of the valley again, where it is dark, cold, and lonely. Slowly ever so slowly, I begin the journey to the top of the mountain again and God in His glorious grace comes running to find me. He left the 99 in order to search for me before night falls, before the wolves come and eat me. We journey along the narrow path with just inches between the wall of the mountain and the edge where I could fall into the gorge below and die, but I am not afraid. He is with me and along the way sometimes carries me over his shoulders because I am not strong enough to walk myself or the way is too narrow for 2. Eventually we reach the top, and the view is breathtaking. I stand in awe at the sights and ask God questions concerning it all, but then I get so off focus that before I know it, the whirlwind comes again. I have found that it takes super concentration, super focus to drown out everything around me, (the view, etc) and just look only at HIM.

Why? Isn't He more beautiful than anything that He has created? Isn't He more amazing than the view? Isn't He the VIEW I should want to study?

My heart has a way to go. It has been wounded and torn by many things and people that having that much devotion to someone is hard. It shouldn't be, and to even write that breaks my own heart. God has done so much for me that I have no reason not to. I am such an unworthy wretch.

Father forgive me, teach me to only study you. Teach me that the view of you is all the view I need.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Day 1

While holding a new life in my arms, a life full of possibilities, hopes and dreams, I start this blog with those same hopes, dreams, and possiblities in mind. I have wanted to do this for weeks now, but the whirlwind of getting this new life into the world has kept me from it. Kamden Reese Bush was born April 7,2010 on my grandmothers 78th birthday. Kam (as we will call him) is my grandson. I have the priveldge, just like my grandmother did with me, to take care of this newborn and help with Mom's recovery because they live with me. I find it very funny the parallels I have with her. My mother lived with my grandparents during her pregnancy and after my birth till I was 4 months old due to my father being in Vietnam during the war. It gaveme a bond with my grandmother like no other. When we moved away from them when I was 6 to Pennsylvania, I had a kids form of grieving from the loss. Up until then, I saw my grandparents everyday because we only lived exactly 1 mile from driveway to driveway from them. I relished every time we got to go back for a visit. I remember crying to see my Nanny, I missed her dearly. I pray that Kam and I have such a bond. I praise god for his life and look forward to the things that He has is store for Kam. Some will be painful, some will be sheer delight, but I know through personal experience that the painful things are there to mold you, teach you things that God wants you to know IF you keep your eyes on Him and ask Him for His lesson in all of it.

That is what this blog will contain. Some painful memories, some delightful ones, but both will be a lesson from Abba God to make me into the woman He wants me to be, to bring into fulfillment the dreams, hopes, and possibilities He has placed in me.

God Bless