Saturday, June 5, 2010

Continuing My Story

For the last journaling entry in the Bible study I am facilitating at my church called "My Story", it ask us to journal about what we want others to know about Jesus through our lives. Wow, that is a big task! I am afraid that more often than not, I fail to show Jesus in my life at all. I let my emotions and drama of the day and my baggage determine how I act/react to situations around me. I want to be like an elderly lady that I read about on the Proverbs 31 ministries daily encouragement email. This lady was going through a crisis in her life, Her husband was in very critical condition and she still had a glow of joy while she prayed. Another lady was in the waiting room, and had just received bad news about her sister. The elderly lady made eye contact and before the younger lady knew it, the elderly lady was by her side, holding her hand, and praying that if God could only save one that day that it be the younger woman's sister. The older woman's husband was 85 and had lived a full life. She really showed the presence of Jesus in her life that day. How I desire to do that everyday. How is it then that I fail to show Jesus to my own family much less some stranger (Although it is easier to show Him to strangers sometimes). My mind goes to the verse that says " through the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks". That puts a kink in things doesn't it. It tells me that I have not allowed the Holy Spirit to come and fill me so full that it overflows to those around me at all times. My heart is still full of pain and hurt that it overflows out of my mouth. Disappointment and dismay are my constant overflow.....

Oh God, forgive me. Come and fill me so much with you that I am empty of anything else. Place it so heavy on my heart to spend time with you so that this will be the result. Woo me, Oh God! Seek me, search for my heart! Let me be the kind of woman that glows with your spirit! I want to fall in love with you more and more everyday! Let me be so immersed in you that others don't even see me! Let my speech be from the abundance of my heart!! Let that be the Jesus others see and not the one I have been (or rather not been) showing.

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